Don't be a Toastmaster

"Don't be a Toastmaster" - This is the speech that I delivered at Wordsmith Toastmasters Club's 250th meeting on 6th July 2013. Most of the information in this speech are exaggerated for entertainment :)

 “If you get out of Toastmasters all there is to get out of Toastmasters, you’ll never get out of Toastmasters” – said our Past International President Helen Blanchard. The first time I heard this quote, I never understood the true meaning. However, I learned the true meaning of this quote only in the last 2 years.

My personal friends got substituted by my Toastmasters friends

My personal get togethers got substituted by my Toastmasters get-togethers

My personal family got substituted by my Toastmasters family

My personal wife got substituted by … OOPS! Let us not get there.

When I was pondering over the transformation that was happening in me in the last few years… Toastmaster Bharath Kumar from wordsmith popped up one day and said, “Saro! We are celebrating our 250^th milestone meeting on 6^th July. I want you to do a session at Wordsmith… not your usual boring inspirational talk… but something that is Wackky!”. That was the context for my session today. I’m going to tell the guests the reason why they should not be a toastmaster.

Reason #1 - Toastmasters don’t get to the point

Toastmasters never get to the point… Let me give you an example.

A Club officer would go to the stage and make an announcement… “Imagine it is 24^th Aug 2013… a bright sunny day… you are attending the Toastmasters International convention at Cincinnati, USA…. the finals of the World Champion of Public Speaking Contest… the hall is filled with people… people are busy talking to each other … you can smell the coffee brewing … your name gets called on the stage… Contestant #1, Rajeev  Nambiar… Rajeev Nambiar, Contestant #1… the crowd starts to cheer… Rajeev… Rajeev. All of a sudden, the Chief Judge walks to the stage and stops you from talking “Rajeev… You are not eligible to contest. You haven’t paid your membership dues for this term”. Fellow members, if you don’t want to lose an amazing opportunity to participate in WCPS contest, pay your membership dues now”

All that the club officer wanted to say was “Dear Members… the last date for membership renewal is Mar 2013. Please pay your dues before that to be eligible to participate in the contests”

Reason #2 - Toastmasters are great liars

Toastmasters are great liars. For example, you might not have prepared well for a speech… you might’ve gone to the stage and made a number of mistakes… and even forgot a few lines here and there. Your speech might’ve been very boring to the audience.

But… after listening to your pathetic and boring speech, the evaluator would come to the stage and say “What a wonderful speech it was… I couldn’t find words to describe your speech” Your speech had a perfect flow… like the water in the river that flows smooth… I have so much nice things to highlight about this speech and it would take an entire hour for me to list all of them”.

Toastmasters just don’t lie within the meeting hall. They do that in the Facebook groups also. If a fellow toastmaster posts a flyer… immediately you’ll get a response from others saying “Nice flyer”… irrespective of whether the flyer is great, average or pathetic.

Is that a “Nice flyer?!... No…. You are a liar Mr. Toastmaster”

Reason #3 - Toastmasters crave for entertainment

Toastmasters crave for entertainment. They want you to crack jokes, tell story, or make them laugh/cry. They are not used to listening to ordinary speeches. They get disconnected very fast from the speaker or feel bored.

For example, you might have shared an ordinary story in which your aunt went to Singapore for a vacation and had a great time visiting places with your uncle.

After your speech, the evaluator would go to the stage and say “Now, how can you make this already great speech into a greater speech?” This is the standard phrase they normally use to give you suggestions to improve. Any speech delivered in a Toastmasters club is already considered to be a GREAT speech.

This is how the feedback would be … “May be, you could’ve made the story interesting by making your aunt lose her hand bag … passport (or) by making your aunt meet with an accident and getting hospitalized for a week or…. your aunt losing her uncle in the crowd. I mean, “Not her uncle… but, your uncle”.

Toastmasters crave for entertainment… they want you to share stories that are humorous… they want you to share stories that are touching and make you cry!

Do you know who has the most number of best Table Topics speaker ribbons with them?

#1 – Toastmasters International… #2 – Kartikeyan Srinivasan … Toastmaster Kartik has so many best Table Topics speaker ribbons piled up in his home… not because he shares lots of knowledge & wisdom with people… not because he inspires us with his speech every time… but because he is entertaining and humorous.

Reason #4 - What you see is not ALWAYS what you get in a Toastmasters meeting

Let me share with you my first Toastmasters’ meeting experience.

It was the year 2006... Yes! I was very young... with lots of hair on my head. My friend took me to a Toastmasters club that he was part of. It was a special meeting. The hall was filled with people and it was very colorful! Rajesh knows what I mean... It was a one hour meeting … an educational session, a humorous speech, some table topics and evaluation. I learned SO MUCH in SO LITTLE TIME. I was completely SOLD on Toastmasters. I immediately filled the application form, borrowed money from my friend and became a member of the club on the first day that I attended.

I was eagerly longing for the next week's meeting. The next week came. I went to the club and climbed the stairs to reach the meeting hall. Right there at the stairs, I saw the President of the club Sai. He greeted me with a beautiful smile ..."Saro! I'm so thrilled to see you again. Welcome". I thought ... "What a wonderful President he is... the President comes out of the way to greet everybody.... leaders should be like him".

Sai said... "Saro... Congratulations... you are nominated to be the Table Topics Master for the day".

"Wow... this club provides opportunity even to a brand new member. They follow the Toastmasters' vision... in its true spirit... equal opportunity to everyone".

I walked to the meeting room and opened the door. I was completely shocked... There was NOBODY inside". I asked Sai... "Sai.. have we changed the meeting room?"

Sai quickly responded... "No Saro! It is just you and me so far".

"But,... it is already our meeting time..."... Don't worry... members will come soon. We waited for another 15 minutes and 4 more members came. We started the meeting with just 7 members.

Immediately after the meeting was over, I went to Sai and asked… “Sai! What happened to all of those people who came to the meeting last week? Why didn’t they come this week?”.

Sai said “Last week’s meeting was a special meeting and hence members from other Toastmasters clubs have come to our club. This week’s meeting is a regular meeting”.

For all the guests who have assembled here today… This is a special meeting. Come back for next week’s meeting and then make the decision.

Reason #5 - Toastmasters Love to Talk

Toastmasters love to talk !

You won’t believe… one of our Toastmasters spoke for 3 days in a row continuously … and won the Guinness World Book of Records. We, the Toastmasters do not even care whether there is somebody who is listening in the hall or not. For that matter, we do not even care whether there is somebody in the hall or not.

Let us take a look at a typical Toastmasters club. The club meeting starts 15 minutes late. The SAA goes to the stage, shares a story, starts the meeting and invites the President. The President goes to the stage… feels very sorry for starting the meeting late. He goes almost to the extent of crying. Then the President talks about the importance of time... he shares with us a story about how we should value others' time... and his address goes on for 15 minutes. He then hands over to the TMOD, who in most cases would be an impromptu role player. Due to the interest of time, the President skips the TMOD introduction".

The impromptu TMOD "Due to the lack of time... I'm going to be very short. He talked about his recent vacation for 10 minutes and told us why he was late today for another 5 minutes.

Conclusion

Despite all of these shortcomings, Toastmasters is a wonderful place to groom your communication and leadership skills.

Toastmasters don’t cut to the chase… but, would any soup be tasty if it is bland and without spice and salt?

Toastmasters are great liars … but Tamil Poet Thiruvalluvar once said “Poymayum Vaymayidathu… Purai Theerndha Nanmai payakkum yenil”… which means even a lie is good, if it produces some good results.

What you see is not ALWAYS what you get in a Toastmasters meeting – Who are all “married” in this hall, raise your hands… you can understand this statement better. It is no different from the experience that you had before and after marriage.

Toastmasters Love to Talk – “Come on man! After all you are coming here to talk and practice your speaking skills… If you want to go there and talk… so do everyone… “

How to select a speech topic and write a speech script?

Speech Topics are EVERY WHERE!

How do I select a speech topic? How do I come up with a speech script?

If you are new to toastmasters, these are the questions that will linger in your mind. You may find it difficult to come up with a speech topic and to expand it into a full blown speech script. Don’t worry. It is very easy to select a topic and write a speech script. Speech Topics are EVERY WHERE…. This article is aimed at providing you some tips on coming up with speech topics and expanding them to speech scripts.


Also read: How to write attention grabbing speech introductions?

Sources for Speech Topics

“You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things; the books you read and the people you meet.” says Charlie Jones a famous speaker. It is very true. 

There are two types of speech sources:

             1.  Personal Experience – Interests, Career, Family, & Education

             2.  Reference Material – Websites, Books, Magazines, Newspapers

Also read: How do you pick the right speech topic?

There are so many topics that you can pick from your personal life and from other sources. Here is a list of topics from which you can do a speech:

1.         Your most memorable events from

o          Life

o          Student life / Childhood

o          College life

o          Professional life

o          Married life

o          Raising a kid,  etc.,     

2.         Your thoughts about

o          country, people, economy, donations, education system,

o          foreign countries

o          going green, population control, traffic, social service, health care

o          shopping malls, advertisements

o          sports, etc., 

3.         Your favorite

o          Vacation

o          Movie / Drama / Actor / Comedian / Director

o          Restaurant / Food items

o          Book

o          Hobby

o          Sport / Athlete / Sports man/woman

o          Leader or author, etc.,           

4.         Your thoughts about

o          time management

o          team work

o          performance appraisals

o          conflicts

o          project management 

o          quality

o          new year resolutions

o          training, etc.,

5.         Your

o          Goals… ambitions… dreams…

o          Principles… belief…

o          Role model / mentor 

Also read: Time Management - I don't have time to write my next speech

6.         Your thoughts about

o          Computers,

o          mobile phones,

o          electronic gadgets

o          television

o          online banking

o          credit  / debit cards / ATMs, etc.,

7.         Something that you read from newspaper, magazines, Internet, books etc.,

8.         Something that you learned by attending conferences, seminars, workshops, training programs, special courses etc.,

9.         Something that you learned from your work or real world experience that may be of use to others

o          Steps involved in buying a car, buying a house, building a house, making the best investment etc.,

o          How to hire best engineers for your projects? How to get the best out of your team? How to get the best performance rating?

o          How to effectively raise a child?

o          How to deal with relatives, friends, spouse, parents, colleagues, or boss?  

10.       Imaginary topics

o          What if you weren’t born in India?

o          What if you were the President / PM of the country?

o          What if you weren’t an Engineer and you were a doctor?

o          What if you got a million dollar in lottery?

o          What if you have to live for 100 years? etc.,

Also Read:  5 Wives & 1 Husband technique to write a Speech Script

You don’t have to be a born speech writer to come up with a speech script. The more scripts that you write, the better you are going to be. You can easily develop your writing skills… if you are determined to develop it. Sign-up for your next speech and start preparing RIGHT AWAY … and using the RIGHT WAY! 

Also read: International Speech Contests Topic Selection Ideas

Happy speaking ... 

CRISP Speech Evaluations

This is a summary of the CRISP Speech Evaluations workshop that I did for Chennai Speakers Forum on 5th August 2012. This is also published as an article in Chennai Toastmasters newsletter.

“Any speech can be improved”… This is the mantra that drives toastmasters. We invest our time in improving ourselves week after week… climbing one step at a time, on the ladder of communication and leadership. Speech evaluations help us to understand how we can improve our speeches. If Toastmasters journey is like driving a car, a mentor is the GPS who guides you along and evaluations is the dashboard in the car which gives you instant feedback. Evaluations is the catalyst that helps you to transform from just an ordinary speaker to an extraordinary speaker.

Also read:
Speech Evaluations - Right & Improper Usages
Table Topics Evaluation Tips

Types of Evaluations – Good, Bad & Ugly

What are the different types of evaluations? There are 3 types of evaluations

• Good
• Bad
• Ugly

Good Evaluations – TONIC

Good evaluations are like tonic. They motivate a speaker to improve his/her performance. An example of Good evaluations is

“TM Jim… Your speech was well organized. It had an attention grabbing introduction, nice transitions and a memorable conclusion.  One area where you can improve is the eye contact. You were focusing mostly on the audience sitting in the front row. I recommend you to establish eye contact with the folks at the back and at the centre. Your stage presence was good and kept us glued to you throughout your speech”

Bad Evaluations – Water

Bad evaluations don’t create any change in the speaker. It is like water – goes in and comes out. Bad evaluations do not help the speaker in improving his/her performance. Some examples are:

“TM Joe…  What a fantastic speech it was. It reminded me of one of my vacations to Kochin. We visited the port, beach and all the churches. We went to the GRT Hotel for lunch. I guess you didn’t go there during your vacation”

(or)

“TM Joe… Your speech was excellent. You had an amazing introduction, excellent vocal variety and an outstanding conclusion. I couldn’t find any areas of improvement for you”.

Ugly Evaluations – Poison

Ugly Evaluations are like giving POISON to the speaker. They kill the speaker and demotivate them. A member, who receives an ugly evaluation, may not even return to your club.

“TM Joe... I don’t know how you can deliver a speech without any preparation. First of all, you didn’t rehearse your speech and you were always looking at the notes.  
Second of all, you had a poor eye contact with the audience  

Third of all, nobody understood the message you were trying to communicate”

CRISP Evaluations

How can you make your speech evaluations a TONIC that motivates and strengthens the speaker? How can you help your club members to continuously excel in their communication journey? I’m going to introduce to you a technique called CRISP evaluations.

Constructive

Constructive feedback is like giving tonic to the speaker.  It is an art of telling the speaker that the “Glass is HALF FULL instead of HALF EMPTY”. Let us look at some examples:

Instead of saying  “Now let me highlight your weaknesses”, you can try the following:

  I’m going to give you some areas for improvement
  I have a few suggestions for you
  I have some recommendations to make your great speech, a greater speech

Instead of saying, “You didn’t use the stage properly”, you can say "I wish you had used the stage space better"

Instead of saying, “Your speech wasn’t up to the mark”, you can say "I think you can do some improvements to the speech to meet the project objectives"

When you are an evaluator, you have to sound positive and look positive. How do you do that?

• Use the right tone/gestures - Instead of saying “I wish you had used the stage space better” … say “I wish you had used the stage space better”…
• Give feedback with confidence - “I wish… you know… AHMM…. you had used the stage space…. Better…” makes you appear that you don’t have enough confidence/experience.
• Smile … when giving feedback... Be friendly… 

Relevant

Make your speech evaluations relevant to the speech and the project objectives. In simple words, “Focus on the delivery and not on the content. Focus on the speech and not on the speaker”

• Don’t try to comment about the speech content. For example, "In your speech you said India is a developed nation…. I don’t think India is still a developed nation”. 
• Don’t try to target the speaker. For example, "IT engineers have this problem of using so many jargon"
• You should always stick to the project objectives.
• For an ice breaker speech, don’t expect vocal variety or stage presence. Alternatively, you can evaluate a speaker based on previous project objectives. For ex., if the speaker has completed “Project 6: Vocal Variety”, and if you are evaluating “Project 7”, you can tell the speaker that he can improve on his vocal variety

Important

There is a famous quote “Live as if you are going to die tomorrow… learn as if you are going to live forever”. Similarly when you are playing the role of an evaluator, “Take notes as if you are preparing for a 1 hour evaluation. Deliver as if you have just 1 minute to give feedback”

You may have a page full of notes. But, pick the top 3 items from the page. For every 3 nice things that you have to say about the speaker, you can suggest 1 area for improvement.  If you have more feedback to give, give them after the meeting and in person.

Remember, the objective of speech evaluation is NOT to project you as a STAR evaluator. The object is to help somebody improve their communication skills.

(Also read: Methods to organize your speech Evaluations)

Specific

Specific feedback helps speakers to understand “What can they do differently to make a better impact with their speech”. You can use the “Show and Tell” approach to give specific feedback.

For example, instead of just saying “TM Joe…. You should improve your vocal variety”, you can say “TM Joe… you said, I saw a huge elephant and a tiny little rat… Instead, you could’ve said “I saw  a HUGE ELEPHANT and a TINY LITTLE rat”

Instead of saying “Joe… You need to improve your eye contact” you can say

“Joe… You’ll have a better audience connection if you maintain good eye contact. Here is what I recommend…Divide the audience into 4 groups. Establish eye contact with one person in the group. You’ll give a feeling to everyone in that group that you are looking at them. Then shift your eye contact to another person in a different group. Follow this repeatedly to have a better connection with the audience”

Personalized

Speech evaluations have to be personalized for the speaker and by the speech evaluator.

John Maxwell, a famous author once said … “People do not care how much you know, but they would like to know how much you care”. As an evaluator you should display genuine care and interest towards the betterment of the speaker. Every individual is unique – Joe is different from Jack, who is different from Jim.  For ex., for someone who has studied in their native language throughout their school days it would be difficult to use the right grammar in their speech.  They may already know that they have to improve on English grammar. As an evaluator, you don’t have to point that out during your feedback.

As an evaluator, you are not a representative of the audience. So, your evaluations have to just reflect your personal opinion.  For example, refrain from making remarks such as

“All of us thought, that you didn’t rehearse your speech”. Instead, just say, “I recommend you to practice your speeches in front of the mirror and rehearse a few times more. It will give you more confidence when you make the speech in the club”

With Constructive, Relevant, Important, Specific and Personalized (CRISP) evaluations, you can help transform an ore into an ornament; you can help transform an ordinary speaker to an extraordinary speaker; you can help your club member to climb the ramp to become a champ.  Will you practice to be CRISP?!

(Also read: Speech Evaluations - Right & Improper Usages)

Importance of Communication when Leading without a Title

ACG Speech #5 - Speaking to Inform
The Abstract Concept
18th November 2011

Introduction

Good evening to all the LIONS assembled in this hall. Assembling here on a Friday evening shows your commitment, and passion towards fellowship and service. LION is the leader of jungle, but YOU are the real leaders of our society. According to me, Lions are Leaders who Inspire by Offering Notable Service. 

(Also read: Leadership lessons - What works when you are a leader?)

Rabbit in front of a LION

To be honest, I am feeling like a rabbit to stand in front of YOU … the LIONS … to talk about LEADERSHIP. Today, I’m going to share with you some wisdom that I gained by serving as the Division Governor of Toastmasters International, an organization that helps people to improve their public speaking and leadership skills.

Setting the stage

Civil rights leader Martin Luther King … Father of our nation, Mohandoss Karamchand Gandhi … Social activist Anna Hazare …

How do these individuals inspire people to work for a common cause?  How do these individuals mobilize support of a large number of people? 

1.      They are not the Presidents or Prime Ministers of the nation

2.      They are not CEOs of a large corporation or associated with any political organizations

3.      They were not born into a family of leaders

4.      They neither had large sums of money nor a formal authority over people

So, what are the tricks that these leaders used to attract people and influence them for their cause? How were they able to LEAD WITHOUT A TITLE? Friends, they know how to effectively CONNECT, COLLOBORATE AND CONGRATULATE.

(Also read: 3Ps of leadership by Prof. Debhasis Chatterjee)

Connect

I read a quote from your Lions International website “Whenever Lions gets together, problems get smaller. And communities get better”. What an interesting quote. It highlights the importance of team work in serving people. Our leadership skill is put to the best use, when we “Connect” with people and work together as a team.

So, how do you connect with your team, when you are a leader?

When you are in a gathering, take the first step to introduce yourself to others. Always, greet people with a warm and pleasant SMILE.

·         Make them feel SPECIAL

·         Make them feel IMPORTANT

·         Make them feel you CARE

Say, you are in a Lions club meeting and you see a fellow LION member entering the hall.

“Good morning Sir. Welcome!”

“Hello Mohan Sir! How are you? It is a pleasure to see you today. Welcome to the meeting. We were missing you so much” (or)

Staying connected with people is like farming. In farming you plough the land, sow seeds, water the field, remove weeds, and add fertilizer at the right time.

Similarly, you’ve to invest your time in maintaining the relationship and staying connected with people –

• by appreciating their accomplishments,
• by listening to their needs, and
• by re-enforcing their belief that they are important

Even simple things like wishing them on their birthday or wedding anniversary or on their daughter’s graduation go a long way.

COLLABORATE

“Leadership is not about the Leader” said Wing-Kun Tam, International President of Lion. It is very true.

Verbal – “I/You” ratio.

When we collaborate with a team, we tend to create an impression that we are dominating, self-centered and egoistic. How do we avoid that impression?

There is a simple technique called I/You ratio in communication.

The most powerful communication combines both intellectual and emotional connections.

·         Intellectual means appealing to educated self-interest with data and reasoned arguments. We are good at that.

·         Emotion comes from engaging the listener and answering their unspoken question – “What is in it for me”? … by frequently using words such as "you" and “we”.

For example, don't say, “I met the Zone Chairman last week. I was asked to organize a blood donation camp. I have to form a team. I’m looking for people. If any of you are interested to join the organizing team, let me know”.

Instead, you can say “We have a tremendous opportunity to serve our community. Our Zone Chairman has given US the task of organizing a blood donation camp. We need volunteers. Each one of you is qualified to join this noble cause. Will you be able to join me in this mission to serve our society?”

Look at the impact that it creates.

Leading by example

What I just shared with you is a verbal communication technique to inspire and influence your team.

Knowingly or unknowingly, we are doing much more communication non-verbally than verbally. How do you inspire people to follow your cause, without verbal communication – “leading by example”.

Let me give you an example. Joe Girhard is a Guinness record holder. Joe worked for General Motors and he holds a Guinness record for selling the most number of cars, not just one year, not just two years but continuously for 15 years in a row.  In one of the interviews, he was asked “Joe! How were you able to sell more cars, when your colleagues in the dealership had exactly the same opportunity as you?” Well! It was simple. He said, people watch what you do … much more than listening to what you say. Many of my colleagues were selling Chevrolet, but there were driving a Honda, Toyota or a Volkswagen car themselves.  But, I was selling a Chevvy and also owned a Chevvy. When my prospects see that I believe in the product that I sell, they tend to buy it from me. I just walk my talk and that made the difference.”

What an excellent example of leadership? Leaders just don’t preach the world to act; they “lead by example”. When you do it, others will get inspired and automatically follow you.

Congratulate

Genuinely appreciating the performance of your members!!

I read a book called “How to teach so that kids can listen”. The book talks about “How to motivate kids to get repeatable behaviors?”. The author says “Don’t just compliment your kid, but compliment them for a specific reason”.

For example, instead of just saying “Son! You did a fantastic job”, you should say “Son! I like the way you are keeping your room neat and clean. You are saving a lot of time for dad and mom. Great job”. When you communicate the specific reason for which you are appreciating them, they remember it better. They feel “I’m getting this appreciation because I kept the room neat and clean”.

You can use the same technique for adults also. After all, we were also kids once upon a time.

For example, instead of saying “Ramesh! You did a great job of conducting an eye camp”, you can say “Ramesh! You displayed extraordinary commitment, team work and service mentality by organizing the eye camp. You were able to make it happen despite the challenges you had in mobilizing funds. You are trustworthy and I can rely on you every time. Great job”.

At times, folks will come to you and ask for feedback on their performance. “How did I perform Sir? What can I improve?” Our, natural tendency is to either say “You did a great job” or to start listing a long list of mistakes they did. The specialty of LIONS is “You are serving not only with your money, but also with your energy and your time”. So, never hurt volunteers, because each one of them is trying to do their best.

When giving feedback to your team or team members,

• highlight the areas they did well
• highlight the areas they could’ve done better
• end it with appreciation of their good work

The LAST impression is the LASTING impression. When giving feedback, always END WITH A HIGH NOTE.

Leaders can be MADE

How many of you think that you should be BORN with leadership skills to be a LEADER? How many of you think that you can acquire skills to be a LEADER? I strongly believe that leadership is something that can be learned. Leaders don’t have to be BORN.

Leaders can be made – all we need to have is the determination to be leader. If there is one magic pill that we can swallow before going to the bed and wake up the next morning as a GREAT LEADER, everybody will be leaders today. But Leadership requires constant practice with persistence, patience and passion, you can be great leader too. 

(Also read: 3 types of people taking leadership roles)

Conclusion

 

I want all of you to do an exercise. Close your eyes. Imagine, it is 2013 and it is your LIONS international convention. There are 100s and 1000s of people in the audience. The hall is filled with enthusiasm and energy. You are called to the stage – for your best performance as the LEADER WITHOUT AUTHORITY. Everyone in the audience are applauding you, when you walk to the stage. You get the award from your international president. Your dream will come true, when you follow these simple techniques to effectively CONNECT, COLLABORATE AND CONGRATULATE PEOPLE.